i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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