Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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