did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
