so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
