last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
