you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
