Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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