I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
