Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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