I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
