LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
