I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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