Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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