Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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