Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
