Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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