i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
being pregnant is like rehab
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
