Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
