its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
