just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
