meet me or not, i'm out of control
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
