Ketchup is God's man juice
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
