whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize