just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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