and my herpes radar will keep us safe
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
