thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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