PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
