she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
