I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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