i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
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