Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
