i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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