belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
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