oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
