Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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