well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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