I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
