There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize