I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
