2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
