How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
