im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
