There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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