I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
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I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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