Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
