Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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