Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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