So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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