I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
