Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."

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  (517): They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what." http://tfl.nu/ufo0
  Replies (3) Good night (1880) Bad night (512)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.

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  (585): Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked. http://tfl.nu/rhwl
  Replies (27) Good night (2601) Bad night (740)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!

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  (720): you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night! http://tfl.nu/g3lv
  Replies (10) Good night (3640) Bad night (941)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.

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  (479): He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing. http://tfl.nu/ga3r
  Replies (7) Good night (4016) Bad night (1051)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.

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  (973): when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this. http://tfl.nu/c6uc
  Replies (17) Good night (1467) Bad night (4462)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?

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  (917): your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin? http://tfl.nu/252o
  Replies (16) Good night (3934) Bad night (2001)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'

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  (508): I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.' http://tfl.nu/78ru
  Replies (7) Good night (2347) Bad night (952)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?

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  (708): what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit? http://tfl.nu/d2ae
  Replies (15) Good night (3146) Bad night (1137)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight

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  (623): We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight http://tfl.nu/am5b
  Replies (4) Good night (2382) Bad night (603)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.

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  (330): Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience. http://tfl.nu/lhjv
  Replies (8) Good night (2113) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.

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  (917): He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay. http://tfl.nu/36pt
  Replies (7) Good night (2569) Bad night (721)
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  (661): View more from California

  First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.

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  (661): First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl. http://tfl.nu/e3wo
  Replies (11) Good night (717) Bad night (1327)
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  (310): View more from California

  I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party

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  (310): I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party http://tfl.nu/6q7p
  Replies (2) Good night (1107) Bad night (647)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma

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  (931): I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma http://tfl.nu/5uqx
  Replies (7) Good night (386) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW

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  (860): NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW http://tfl.nu/dzo6
  Replies (12) Good night (932) Bad night (252)

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