meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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