Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on

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  (773): In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on http://tfl.nu/7jta
  Replies (2) Good night (739) Bad night (771)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on

  (384): View more from

  How come?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message

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  (312): You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on (384): How come? (312): Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message http://tfl.nu/r9u6
  Replies (29) Good night (594) Bad night (1627)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.

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  (440): i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky. http://tfl.nu/4mz4
  Replies (264) Good night (2683) Bad night (27532)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.

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  (804): I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either. http://tfl.nu/j4vn
  Replies (5) Good night (3769) Bad night (879)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet

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  (215): Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet http://tfl.nu/qzss
  Replies (11) Good night (4944) Bad night (1402)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...

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  (319): Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts... http://tfl.nu/b46l
  Replies (13) Good night (1975) Bad night (801)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.

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  (214): I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go. http://tfl.nu/67tg
  Replies (17) Good night (3111) Bad night (660)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...

  (1-778): View more from British Columbia

  she's gonna get diseases

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  (778): she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from... (1-778): she's gonna get diseases http://tfl.nu/ja7i
  Replies (7) Good night (1013) Bad night (1428)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.

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  (+44): I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs. http://tfl.nu/qoq8
  Replies (7) Good night (2487) Bad night (531)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on

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  (508): Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on http://tfl.nu/0ff0
  Replies (8) Good night (1103) Bad night (613)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.

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  (734): Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had. http://tfl.nu/a9pp
  Replies (7) Good night (682) Bad night (1093)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.

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  (337): I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet. http://tfl.nu/ug81
  Replies (5) Good night (3268) Bad night (640)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.

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  (603): I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night. http://tfl.nu/r0y8
  Replies (11) Good night (1127) Bad night (403)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast

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  (+27): Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast http://tfl.nu/wh5g
  Replies (2) Good night (1430) Bad night (418)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.

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  (281): Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see. http://tfl.nu/p7s2
  Replies (0) Good night (469) Bad night (207)

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