So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my being single is dangerous.
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Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
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So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me