Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
