I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
