For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
