making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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