we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize