Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
where am i from again
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
