That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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