She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
