pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
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There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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