so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
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i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
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I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize