they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
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the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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